When did plumbing become like healthcare?

Imagine this if you will. You realize one morning that your body isn't producing hot water the way it used to. Off you go to your local drug store to find a replacement for whatever part is responsible - let's call it the colon in this case. So you have your new colon but have no idea how to install it - who you gonna call? Well, someone recommends having the drugstore send one of its contractors out to do it. So you get on the phone, they ask a few questions and set a time tagging on the end that "the contractor may need to add a few more items when he visits the site."

So now you're prepped and ready to go on the table. The Marx brothers are running about like fools in the room while you wait on the cold metal slab. Then, your contractor appears:

Him [southern twang]: You're not up to code.
Me: Huh?
Him: You're not up to code. You see, what you need here in the state of Jawja is an expansion tank with your new colon. That'll be an extra $80.
Me: Okay...
Him: Yessir, in case of a tremendous back pressure in your colon it keeps you from spilling out all over the floor. Also, because it's in such a confined space, that's an extra $75.
Me: But, we went over this one the phone. I told you exactly where my old colon was located and nothing was said about it then.
Him: Yessir, that kind of stuff we don't know until we set eyes on it the first time.
Me: Great. Anything else?
Him: I'm sure there is, but I won't know until I'm in the middle of the procedure, but I'll be sure to tell you.
Me: I'm sure you will...

At least now I know to bring a can of vaseline when the contractor rings the doorbell this Friday.