My moat
Soooo...
I come home yesterday and notice my wife has finally granted my year's long dream. I thought "Finally! The ultimate in home security is mine! I will perch myself atop my ivory tower and laugh at all the infidels that circle the cul-de-sac below me! Knowing they can and will not penetrate my fortress!"
What is this you ask? A new gun? A minefield? An ADT sign in my front yard? Nooo....
Ladies and gentlemen - I have a moat.
Here, you will see the primary water source - the Great Geyser of Costliness, wisely embedded under the Drive Way so as not to arouse suspicion:
My moat.
Up close view to discourage unwanted visitors - this is abouthalf an inch 10 feet of water. It has ants. With laser beams. Swimming ants.
Strangely, this man who called himself Amigo from the land of Day Labor, showed up and began digging...
... wherever Sir Crack of the Plumbers Guild of Rooters told him to dig. His other henchmen, Bob, appeared with this deviled machinery. Apparently a siege was forthcoming!
The siege ended without bloodshed, though my kingdom has been branded for all to see:
Alas, the enemy has sapped away my moat. In representation of the day's glorious battle, the Royal Heineyness's begonias sprung back to life. Freaking 10 gallons an hour for about two weeks will do that. Also note the large pile of triceratops poo:
I come home yesterday and notice my wife has finally granted my year's long dream. I thought "Finally! The ultimate in home security is mine! I will perch myself atop my ivory tower and laugh at all the infidels that circle the cul-de-sac below me! Knowing they can and will not penetrate my fortress!"
What is this you ask? A new gun? A minefield? An ADT sign in my front yard? Nooo....
Ladies and gentlemen - I have a moat.
Here, you will see the primary water source - the Great Geyser of Costliness, wisely embedded under the Drive Way so as not to arouse suspicion:
My moat.
Up close view to discourage unwanted visitors - this is about
Strangely, this man who called himself Amigo from the land of Day Labor, showed up and began digging...
... wherever Sir Crack of the Plumbers Guild of Rooters told him to dig. His other henchmen, Bob, appeared with this deviled machinery. Apparently a siege was forthcoming!
The siege ended without bloodshed, though my kingdom has been branded for all to see:
Alas, the enemy has sapped away my moat. In representation of the day's glorious battle, the Royal Heineyness's begonias sprung back to life. Freaking 10 gallons an hour for about two weeks will do that. Also note the large pile of triceratops poo:
posted by misawa at 6:49 PM
6 Comments:
I don't know where to start...
Is this a sprinkler system you're having installed or did you clog the pipes again?
It's a sorta kinda inadvertent sprinkler system, also called a busted pipe. Also called a busted bank account.
Ouch, dude. Although I wouldn't go with a triceratops. Looks more like brontosaurus poo to me. I'd have to inspect the plants, though.
Maybe you can lure the triceratops to fall into the moat. At least then you could have a good barbecue.
Do you have enough fire power to deal with triceratops? What's the legal limit on harvesting triceratops where you live?
Jeff, I knew you of all people would get the movie-reference.
Gordon, something tells me all the hickory smoke in the world couldn't tenderize a triceratops hide.
Tony, I'm short a few hundred 9mm rounds. And a grenade launcher.
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