The Topless Coffee Cafe

I'm sorry. No, I mean it. I'm reeeaaalllly sorry. I've tried to ignore this. I honestly have. I've even tried to ignore my blog. Alas, to no avail. Comments on:

Cup size (heh-heh, heh-heh...) has more than one meaning at a new central Maine coffeehouse. Servers are topless at the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop (and what a grand view it is), which opened its doors Monday on a busy road in Vassalboro (busy road you say? Must have something eye-catching on that street). A sign outside says, "Over 18 only." Another says, "No cameras, no touching, cash only." (where's the fun in that?)

On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter (that there's just false advertising) stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women (with men) and couples (of men) have stopped by.

The coffee shop raised the ire of dozens of residents when it went before the town planning board last month (perhaps the only way to properly combat this is bottomless?). Town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law (which letter? B? C? DD?).

Lord I apologize. Bless all the pygmies down in New Guinea.