Diary of Pregnant Woman

First of all, if you have no idea what the subject line refers to, go here. Now, then...

The following is truth, from a certain point of view:

2:11 am - wakes up to pee
2:19 am - washes hands and comes back to bed
2:20 am - realizes she's hungry
2:25 am - realizes she's really hungry and the alarm isn't going off for another 4 hours
2:26 am - ambles downstairs for a peanut butter sammich; consumes in two bites
2:28 am - back to sleep
3:57 am - peeing again
4:11 am - wakes up; still peeing
4:14 am - back to sleep
5:45 am - our zoo begins to stir, needing to be fed
5:46 am - wife begins to stir, needing to be fed
5:50 am - animals still hungry, wife has another PB sammich
6:20 am - animals, wife, are fed and happy
7:00 am - with pantyhose half on, ambles back downstairs for a bowl of cereal
8:20 am - arrives at work, 3rd breakfast
10:00 am - midmorning snack
11:15 am - brunch
12:30 pm - lunch
1:45 pm - afternoon tea, or afternoon popcorn
3:00 pm - afternoon chocolate
5:30 pm - leaves work; picks up bucket of KFC for dinner
6:00 pm - arrives home; deposits empty KFC bucket in trash
6:30 pm - supper, prepared by THE GREATEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD
7:15 pm - snack or second helping
8:30 pm - asleep on couch
9:15 pm - asleep in bed