Yes, I'm happy to see you

I will up front apologize to every man that is reading this:

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex. Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past. So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis. Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the Kurir newspaper reported. Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth." Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils.

I really can't fathom this. I'm all up for making for a pleasing event, but God made certain areas of the body for exit only*, not enter-exit-enter-exit-rinse-lather-repeat...

*I realize there are many medical procedures done through the male bo-bo that violate this general rule. I myself have been a victim - I went in to the doctor b/c of a bladder infection (thanks Hunny!) and Dr. Helga Von Haetzaman asked 3 times (!) if I had been doing yardwork (wink-nudge) with someone else before ordering the STD test and giving me the "turn your head and cough" without me actually turning my head and coughing.