Thanks for nothing, literally

Pop quiz - you're at home and you hear the sounds of a woman screaming coming from an adjacent apartment. What do you do?

Well, apparently, you draw your sword:

A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

I really don't think I have to add anything else to this story, but I will.

Seriously, a cavalry sword? I mean, dude, they have these things called guns (which this guy should never, ever, own). But still, Michael Myers kitchen knife or Jason's machete would strike more fear. Unless it was going to be a sword (read between the lines, please) measuring competition.

Who listens to those kind of movies that loud? I'm sure you'd want to hear every little... thing, but come on! It's bragging rights if it's you and your wife - it's sad if it's the TV.

I think I can understand why the guy downstairs was so confused, though. I mean, he was living with his mom. He probably still has a poster of something in a bikini hidden behind his Darth Vader poster. That would explain why the sounds were so foreign to him.