The Big Show - Live!

3:03pm - Arrived at the hospital. Surveyed the outside surroundings and did our best Splinter Cell impersonation - not easy to do when one of us has the turning radius of a Cadillac - and made it to the Labor and Delivery suites without being sighted by a coworker.

4:07pm - After checking her reflexes and nearly being kicked through the wall - they were checking her elbow - the recommendation has been made to administer something for nerves. I just hope they bring something for her, too.

5:30pm - Whoa, Nelly! We've got contractions! Nice big ones, too. Man, might be done with this in time to watch the Braves... whaddaya mean those aren't even big ones?

6:20pm - She's approaching sleep now. Pills are good. Light is not. I'm contemplating using a diaper to secure the drapes together. In all that crap we packed there's not a single roll of duck tape? How am I gonna get a diaper on the kid?

7:15pm - Hmmm... food just got delivered. Guess this will be a good time to see what stage of labor she's in.

7:16pm - Not sure what stage of labor she's in. But the food is out of the room. So am I. And no, for those of you scoring at home (or even if you're alone), this does not count toward the Sunday School pool of if I'll be thrown out of the room. The food was told to go; being inanimate, I had to take it.

8:10pm - Contractions are 1 min. apart and pretty intense. Right now it's taking me, a nurse, one hard pillow, and three soft pillows to get her to comfortable. This'll last for about two or three contractions, then we've got to flip her like a burger.

8:30pm - Dr. Huxtable is in to see us now, and that's got my Spidey senses all tingly. I've always heard (and read) that the Doc doesn't make an appearance until it's time to catch the baby - unless there's an issue. Maybe he was just around anyway. Contractions haven't changed.

9:15pm - I'm starting to understand why this is called "labor." What I've seen here in the last hour or so is surreal. TV? Hollywood? Lies - all lies.

10:30pm - Doc is back: she's at 4 cm. I am, too.

10:45pm - Contractions are starting to decrease in intensity?! I thought they were only supposed to get worse and worse, kinda like racing your larger brother down a hill and him falling in to you, causing a human-snowball of pain and agony, each bounce faster and more intense.

11:10pm - How in the name of all that is good, righteous, and holy are we supposed to sleep when the cast of Stomp has decided to start beating on every dagblasted thing they can find out there?! Honestly, it sounds like they released kids, all of them, into the galleys to let them pick a pot and spoon and sent them up here to beat on them like it's a freaking parade.

11:25pm - Looks like we're in for a long night. We'll be starting the pitocin (if needed) at 2am or so. As such, this may be the last update for a while.

3:10am - Now we're down to it. Epidural is in. Water is broken. She slept for about two to two and a half hours. I have a half a tank of gas, a full pack of crackers, it's dark, and I'm not wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

6:30am - Dilated 10cm.

7:45am - "Push him out, shove him out, waaaaaaay out!"

8:00am - I'm not sure what she just said. It sounded almost Klingon.

8:17am - He's here. 7.4 oz, 19.5 in. long. Chase Nathaniel. Pics to come.