Spank the penguin

For those of you who are in hibernation because there is no baseball, get in some batting practice by hitting a penguin as far as you can. My current bests are 593 skidding and 492 sticking the landing. Let me know how you fair.

Also, the sequel to that one is pretty entertaining, too. Personal best of of 562.6.

I love the smell of gunpowder on my lunch break...

I went to the range today during lunch - just about the only thing I'll put off food for. There's something quite relaxing about it that I can't explain. Anyway, it was the busiest that I've seen it in a while so I was sandwiched between a couple of other guys that were sharing a lane (and were all there together). Not sure why the rangemaster didn't put them all together on side by side lanes, but they didn't bother me. While I enjoy having the range to myself, having it nearly full really makes me work on my concentration (it's an indoor range, so things can get pretty loud). As is done at every gun range I've ever been to, I start checking out what people around me are shooting (my wife has affectionately referred to me as the Rainman of guns). Sure enough, I'm surrounded by Glock.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I have tried a Glock 19 and it's a good gun; I have no doubts that if I were in an emergency situation, a Glock would get the job done. It just didn't "wow" me when I shot it the way the Walther P99 did. What I have noticed, though, is that most Glock owners (the majority of whom have never shot a firearm before they shot a Glock) tend to act snobby towards anything else except Glock.

So I absolutely love it when I walk up to the line and start loading the mags on my Walther. Most of them haven't seen it, or if they have, it's only known to them as the Bond gun. And mine has the pretty titanium coated slide (which makes it a pain to keep clean, especially around the muzzle). It's kinda funny seeing these guys do double-takes at my gun.

Now, when I shoot (or do most anything else), I am very hard on myself. I don't know why, when, or where it started - maybe I do it just to compete with myself or to better myself. Who knows? Nevertheless, anything that's not in the 10x ring (unless I'm aiming elsewhere) is just not acceptable to me. So, in my head, I had a rough day at the range - at 25 ft. I only had about 5 touching the red of the 10x area (out of maybe 120 - 130 rounds).

As it was time to go, I started grumpily wiping down my gun to get rid of some surface discharge residue and staring at my target I had run forward. My eyes glanced off to one side, and I couldn't help but smile - the Glocker on my right was shooting terribly at 10 feet, not even hitting the paper with at least 2 shots. The one on the other side of me was fairing no better. I looked back at my target, and realized I could account for every single bullet that left my gun since I last changed the target - there was a corresponding hole somewhere on the paper. 58 of 60 shots were inside the silhouette.

I started feeling a good bit better after that. Fondling the new Beretta PX4 Storm helped, too.

Shouldn't have brought a knife to a gun fight...

The new Orleans police are in the headlines, again. This time, though, it's not for excessive beating, but because they shot and killed a man who was wielding a knife and making threats.

From what I've read, the police talked with this guy for several minutes, pepper sprayed him (to no effect), talked some more, and then shot. Now, obviously this story is getting played up more by the media due to the city's recent problems with their men and women in blue, but where is the room for outrage or even reasonable doubt. From the article:

Trey Brokaw, a patron at a nearby bar, said he saw the victim with a knife in his hand shortly before the shooting. "I didn't see anyone near him," Brokaw said. "It didn't seem like anyone was going to get hurt to me." But Brokaw said he did not see what happened in the final moments before the shots rang out.

Now my brother is a reporter, and maybe he can stop by and clarify this one for me, but why on earth is this guy even mentioned? What qualifications does he have for making the statement that he didn't think anybody's life was in jeopardy? Just how close do you need to be to a guy who is holding a knife, disobeying police orders to drop it, making threats, and wiping away pepper spray with a towel?

To the paper's credit, they did quote a defense lawyer that was giving some praise to the cops, saying they used "great restraint" on a man that was "out of control and aggressive." Sounds justifiable to me. Good job!

Sidebar: for those reading this that it applies to, consider this evidence against the idea of pepper spray. Sure, the police were far enough back that they didn't have to administer it at arm's length, but it did diddly-squat to stop this guy.

When did plumbing become like healthcare?

Imagine this if you will. You realize one morning that your body isn't producing hot water the way it used to. Off you go to your local drug store to find a replacement for whatever part is responsible - let's call it the colon in this case. So you have your new colon but have no idea how to install it - who you gonna call? Well, someone recommends having the drugstore send one of its contractors out to do it. So you get on the phone, they ask a few questions and set a time tagging on the end that "the contractor may need to add a few more items when he visits the site."

So now you're prepped and ready to go on the table. The Marx brothers are running about like fools in the room while you wait on the cold metal slab. Then, your contractor appears:

Him [southern twang]: You're not up to code.
Me: Huh?
Him: You're not up to code. You see, what you need here in the state of Jawja is an expansion tank with your new colon. That'll be an extra $80.
Me: Okay...
Him: Yessir, in case of a tremendous back pressure in your colon it keeps you from spilling out all over the floor. Also, because it's in such a confined space, that's an extra $75.
Me: But, we went over this one the phone. I told you exactly where my old colon was located and nothing was said about it then.
Him: Yessir, that kind of stuff we don't know until we set eyes on it the first time.
Me: Great. Anything else?
Him: I'm sure there is, but I won't know until I'm in the middle of the procedure, but I'll be sure to tell you.
Me: I'm sure you will...

At least now I know to bring a can of vaseline when the contractor rings the doorbell this Friday.

Resources for my diet

To assist myself with counting calories while I was on my diet, I used the following sites:

• Calorie Lab - very helpful for finding how many calories are in certain foods that aren't canned or packaged with a label (fresh produce, vegetables, etc.). Also has a calories burned calculator.
• Diet411 - similar to Calorie lab sans calculator. Might find some things here you can't find there.
• For those that eat out regularly, Calorie Count works great. It has most restaurant's nutritional information. If it's not listed here, then go to that restaurant's website and see if you can find it that way.

Just remember that because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't go to certain restaurants, it just means you have to be a little smarter about what you order (eg. steamed rice instead of fried at a chinese or japanese place). Just be honest with yourself - include every little thing you eat, all the way down to chewing gum or breath mints. It will make more of a difference than you think.

How my diet worked

A couple of years ago, I went to the doctor for a checkup and to get my prescription refilled for whatever the newest acid reflux medicine that was available. For the first time ever, my blood pressure was high, so naturally, the doctor asked me that fateful question about family history. I'll be brief: it's rampant.

I was also the heaviest then that I had ever been - 198 lbs. That was enough to convince me that it was time for a real diet. It was also the time that South Beach, Atkins, and assorted other diets were the big craze. So, which diet did I choose?

None of them. I researched probably a dozen different diets, weight loss plans, and workout regimens, most of which wouldn't work for me for one or more reasons. I believe greatly in the KISS saying: Keep It Simple, Stupid! Therefore I needed something that was easy to do and remember, not something I would have to carry around on a note card and refer to anytime I went out to eat or to the grocery store.

Keeping with the simple idea, I settled on information I got from How Stuff Works. Look there for more info on the ins and outs of the diet, but it comes down to this:

1. Multiply the weight you want to be at by 12 (my example - 170 x 12 = 2040). This is roughly the total number of calories per day your body needs to keep your vital organs alive.
2. Stay under this number. Calories in must be less than calories burnt for weight loss to occur.
3. 3500 calories = 1 pound - this works either way you go.

It really is that simple. For calorie counting, I made up a little Excel spreadsheet, though for the first month I just wrote things down on a post-it (note: I was very harsh on myself for the first month; no snacking, nothing but water to drink, etc.). Also, realize that excercise adds to your max daily number; in my case, a mile walk ups my necessary calories to 2140. I strongly do recommend that you don't just change your diet, though that will work, it'll just take longer. Generally speaking, 3 times a week helps maintain, 5 times makes a difference.

My end results were about 25 to 30 pounds weight loss, an inch and a half off my waist. Your mileage may vary. Feel free to comment or email me for more info or to tell me how wrong I am.

Why men are happier...

After the recent discussion on Tim's blog, I decided to post this. Got it from a coworker...

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Arthur Davidson goes to heaven...

From Boortz.com:

Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

Theaters to jam cell phones

Oh, good Lord, let this come to pass: Theater owners have petitioned the FCC to allow them to jam cell phone signals while on theater property. I'm sure it's happened to you several times as well; my brother had this happen to him last week when he saw Narnia. The opposition claims that this will interfere with emergency calls should there be a need.

[Dr. Evil voice]Riiiiiggghhhhttt...[/Dr. Evil Voice]

Serious bragging rights

For those of you that have never played an instrument, this post will probably make no sense. I am a tuba player in my church orchestra and have played it for about 13 years; in another life, I was a music major, principal low brass. Anyway, there are two types of tuba players: great ones who have an unbelievable range and me. I play loud - bone jarring loud. My goal is simple - I want a conductor to tell me that I need to back off, that I'm playing too loud. Personally, I don't believe those are words that exist in a director's vocabulary.

So last night, I'm honking away towards the end of the performance at my church (One Incredible Moment by Tom Fettke and Max Lucado) when suddenly, I experience a loss of power. About 10 seconds later I realized that my tuning slide on my third valve had popped out. I blew out my tuning slide - not as good as being told to back down, but pretty darned close. :)

*Sigh*

Everybody, repeat after me: there is no attempt to ban God or religious speech from radio and TV, there is no attempt to ban God or religious speech from radio and TV, there is no...

The thing that frustrates me about this particular urban legend (also known as a myth, lie, etc.) is that it is regularly bantered about among email groups, and Christians continue to perpetuate it. In other words, we're getting ourselves worked up over something that doesn't exist (and never has) instead of concentrating on the things that do matter and that we can do something about.

Send in the Marines

In this morning's AJC, a Marine Corporal wrote editorial that was more of a sales pitch: when domestic disasters (hurricanes, floods, etc.) occur, send in the Marines. I can't believe nobody's thought of that before. Do you think there would have been mass scale rioting in New Orleans if armed and trained Marines would have been sent in just after the hurricane blew by? Good read.

Not so sure if this is the best way to do this...

Man puts slasher Santa in front of his house to protest the commercialization of Christmas. And nothing says religious holiday and peace on Earth better than Michael Myers in a Santa suit.

We were just about to finish!!!

Couple tries to join the mile high club and get busted. Then they become angry and combative. Wouldn't it have been better just to let them finish and get it all out of their system, maybe give them a standing ovation and a complementry cigarette or sandwich?

Hero catches baby dropped from building

I think the word hero is regularly overused, but in this case, it's dead-on. A lady was trapped in her apartment in New York by a fire and dropped her baby out the third story window where it was caught by our hero. What a great story!

Guns I need

In light of my previous post about a home intruder charging an elderly man, I decided it was time to post about one of my hobbies: guns. Any gun-nut knows that having just one or two is never enough - in the event of an emergency, I want to make sure I have a selection available to properly stop the threat as well as match whatever I am currently wearing.

I'll start with what I already have - a Walther P99 QA in 9mm. Yep, the new Bond gun. I tried a Glock, and while that wasn't a bad experience, I found the Walther to fit my hand better. I recommend the QA for less experienced shooters or for those going for a concealed carry weapon - it's a consistent trigger pull every single time, and it really smooths out around the 500 round mark. While accessories and holsters aren't as common as for Glock, they are still available. So far, mine has taken any ammo I've fed it. I found mine at a gun show for $500.

However, a semi-automatic can be a bit much for a novice or inexperienced shooters; plus, no matter how good the gun, there is always the possibility of failure with so many moving parts. Thus, a good revolver recommendation is the Ruger GP100 in .357 mag/ .38 spl. Solid construction and a decent price make this one an easy recommendation, though it may be a little large for some people. I definitely do not recommend firing this one handed, especially if loaded with .357 magnum rounds.

Bersa Thunder .380 - don't sell this little jewel short. You won't be engaging targets at 25 feet very often, more like 10 to 15 (think of the distance from your nightstand to your bedroom door). Some might wonder why this instead of the original Bond gun that it looks like. 1) The double-action trigger pull is significantly better on the Bersa than the Walther. 2) The price - $500 for the Walther vs. $200.

Mossberg 500 20 ga. - for home defense, you can't get any better than a shotgun. While the 12 ga. is a far more effective manstopper, the 20 ga. will do just fine.

Springfield Socom 16 - I have no idea why I need this one. I guess in the event I have to go all Splinter Cell on somebody in my house (look out kitty). 20 rounds of semi-automatic .308 Winchester power in a rifle design that's been around for over 50 years (it's built around the M1).

That's all for now, though I assure you that there are a lot more that I would love to have. :)

Another one bites the dust

Betcha this guy wished he didn't charge an armed man, even if he was 75 years old. According to the article, one of the intruders (the dead one), had been in jail 12 times in the past 3 years and had cases pending against him for several other charges. The key words were said by Macon Police Lt. Carl Fletcher - "He reacted... to protect himself and his property."

That's right, property. Apparently, the good folks down in Macon (only about 30 miles from my hometown) understand that a person's private property is actually a product of that person's time, finances, and/ or labor, something my current city of residence doesn't seem to understand.

Illinois videogame ban unconstitutional

U.S. District Court Judge ruled Illinois' attempt to restrict the sales of sexually explicit and violent video games is unconstitutional. Now I don't deny that it can be very harmful to kids to go on killing sprees or engage in lewd sexual behavior (a la Grand Theft Auto), however putting the blame for this on to the retail industry is dead wrong.

I worked at EB Games a couple of years ago when the newest iteration of GTA came out. I wasn't surprised that the store was packed - I was surprised at how many kids with their parent's permission bought the game! The youngest I saw must have been around 10. Then when little Johnny goes out and starts assaulting women or goes on a shooting rampage with dad's gun, the finger gets pointed at the retailer who sold it. What about the parent's responsibility?

I'm not letting the retail industry off, though. There is a rating system already in place, and although it has some flaws, in general, it gets the message across about a game's content. In this rating system, it is against most stores' policies to sell a mature rated game to anyone under 17 without parental consent. If a store blindly sells a mature game without asking for ID, then they should be punished.

And if a mature game winds up in the hands of a kid, then the parents should be punished.

My political philosophy

Any political quiz I've ever done has spit me out as a libertarian. Personally, I don't toe any party's line; each party has it's pros and cons, some more than others. Nevertheless, if I were to try and sum up my politics, it's best said here (about 5 minutes long).

Good riddance

Crips gang co-founder Tookie Williams is finally taking the eternal celestial dirtnap. Much has been made of his generosity and a willingness to try and turn other youth from the gang life. While I applaud him for doing that with the time he had left, it doesn't mean he didn't deserve to die. When the sentence was handed down 24 years ago, it was for the vicious murder of four people; there were no stipulations saying that if he was a good boy and participated in community service, it would be commuted to life in prison. Even if a clause like that made it in to the decision, it wouldn't have mattered - Williams had a sordid history in prison on death row, including beating guards and other inmates. While it's possible that he grew a conscience and tried to reach out and help others that were in trouble, it doesn't change the person he was.

I just can't help myself

I can't drop Sarah's blog down to my level of potty humor, but her entry about inflatable Nativity's made me think that there was finally another reason to own an inflatable sheep.

Hired guns

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Magnificent Seven. It's a classic tale that itself is an Americanized remake of the Japanese movie The Seven Samurai. The story: a small village is being marauded by a ruthless bandit, and they're tired of it. A small group of villagers travels to another town where they assemble a group of men to help defend their village. In the end, the village is saved, freedom restored, and the hired gunmen ride off in to the sunset.

That's all well and good in Hollywood - but what about church? My home church was in the habit - and still occasionally is - of hiring musicians from the local college for special Christmas or Easter musicals. While the sound quality was there, was the intent? Maybe it's not my place to question that, but in my opinion, having been on the performing side of things for years, a heartfelt performance is what is called for. We're offering our gifts and talents up to God for his glory, not ours. However, there is a flip side to this argument...

What about the people attending? Who's to say they will take more - or less - from the performance if it's accompanied by professional instrumentalists as opposed to local church talent that can run the spectrum from amateur to almost pro? Or, what about sports? Church softball - especially at a baptist church - is a realm all it's own. I've always remarked at how many guys I didn't know went to my church that showed up at softball time. Funny how they all disappeared after the season was over, too.

We have friends who do a lot of youth work. At their church there was a debate over allowing a young man to play in the youth praise band because he had not made a profession of faith. The praise band was regularly used as worship leaders in youth services. Can you be part of a group that serves a function as a worship leader if you haven't made a commitment to Christ? Will the audience know it?

Are we really glorifying God when we "hire guns?" Is our ultimate goal to reach others? Or are we so concerned with putting on a top notch performance that we bring in others, possibly non-believers?

That being said, I have to take a moment to brag about our church orchestra. We had our Christmas concert last night, and it went great. No hired guns, but plenty of great talent including some who could play for the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. We have teachers, proffesionals, high school students, even a couple of actual music teachers in the bunch. Our motto: "If you held the instrument before, that's good enough."

Pearl before Beatle

Has anybody else noticed that the murder of John Lennon has received more TV time this year than in year's past? Maybe it's just me - or the fact that I don't have the History Channel - but I just don't think so. December 7th is almost a holy day for me, a confessed WWII buff; normally there's a documentary or two, an airing of the crappy movie "Pearl Harbor", and an airing of the good movie "Tora, Tora, Tora." I saw none of that this past week.

Is this what we've come to in this country? That we've exalted the anniversary of a person's death to such a higher position than that of one of the truly defining moments of our country, where two thousand people died?

Now, I do realize that Lennon was no ordinary celebrity or rock star. He and the rest of the Beatles were a pop culture force that this country hadn't really seen since Elvis; except they had ideals. Lennon particularly was very liberal, and in his song "Imagine" laid out his utopia - no possessions, no religion, just everybody getting along merrily singing around a great big bonfire.

That may be one of the reasons that I detest the fact that Lennon's death has gotten more airtime than pearl Harbor - I don't like his ideals, mostly because it wreaks of socialism (also called anti-libertarian). The fact that he was murdered is tragic, but until this year, I couldn't even hazard a guess as to the date. Hopefully next year, things will reverse, and Pearl Harbor day will return as a staunch reminder of why the U.S. shouldn't wait until somebody else bloodies our nose.

Home invasion ends bad great

Two bad guys DRT, the third is charged with their murder - trademark Neal Boortz on that DRT (Dead Right There).

Some of you may think I'm a masochist, but I love these types of stories. Not because a life was taken, but because one was saved. I'm not sure if Kalifornia has what's considered the "Castle" doctrine in their state law, but Georgia does - if somebody trespasses in to your house, that is considered a threat to you and anybody that lives in that house; you're well within your rights to use deadly force to end the threat. Plug'em.

Caution: Teen Driver

This is a step in the right direction, though I wonder how effective it will be. It's nice to know what manner of insults I can hurl at this person when they do something stupid on the road, but this won't stop the one car speeding down a road at 2am jumping the curb and plowing in to a tree, killing and maiming most everyone inside - something that is all too common on Atlanta area roads.

What else can be done? Well, for starters, up the driving age to 17. Allow for the learner's permit to still be obtained at 15, followed by a restricted license at 16 that allows for the vehicle to be operated by the driver alone or with other licensed drivers in the vehicle, but no unlicensed passengers. ANY traffic violations during those two years results in at least a six month revocation and an additional year of restricted driving privileges.

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential..."

Time for a little bit of my life story, as it may help understand why I am who I am.

In high school, I was a music geek. While that does include being a band geek for me, it went much further than that. Anything musical my church did, I was involved. Youth choir, adult choir, adult ensemble, duet partner, soloist, yada-yada-yada. So it followed that at the end of my senior year in high school, I had to go somewhere and do something - street musicians aren't a common lot in Milledgeville. Therefore, it was off to ye olde local college, Georgia College, where I was, of course, a music major.

During my second year there, one of those life altering events occurred. The kind that you look back on ten years later and can still remember - I met my Best Friend. Now, at the time, she didn't know that she was my Best Friend, as is evidenced by her rejecting my first offer for a date, but I didn't really know then, either. Throughout the next year, there was whooing, cooing, baby talk (hanging my head in shame), and all other such things that happen in the first year of dating.

The following year, my father was diagnosed with colon cancer; three months later, he died. I'll spare the detailed agony that followed, but it was through this event that started me on my path to where I am today. My Best Friend worked for a lady who knew a guy that needed help at his electronics repair shop. Over the next few years, I found something else, besides music, that I was good at.

Two years later, I entered into a Contract with my Best Friend, and we left for greener pastures - or, anywhere but Milledgeville. I continued educating myself in the ways of things electrical, working different jobs here and there.

That was six and a half years ago. I'm still in school, and while I'm not sure when I'm going to graduate, I have it on good authority that Jesus will return sometime after my last final exam but before graduation day.

My first post

They really will let anybody have one of these... :)

First and foremost, if you've never met me before, I am a Christian. I believe in God and His son Jesus Christ; that He died to free me from my sin; and that He rose again and will return.

Most everything else is up for debate...